Holiday Expectations: Finding the Balance
The holidays can be a wonderful time to reconnect with your college student. These
times can include cozy nights at home, heartfelt catch-up conversations and favorite
family traditions. As your now more independent young adult returns home, it can also
bring a few growing pains as everyone adjusts to this new dynamic. So how can you
make the break relaxing for your student and meaningful for the whole family? Here
are a few practical tips to help create a warm, balanced, and productive holiday season
together.
1.Remember that respect and communication run both ways.
A smooth and enjoyable holiday break often starts with mutual respect. College students
who communicate about their plans, like letting parents know when they’ll be home
or giving a heads-up about outings, help set a cooperative tone. Likewise, when parents
respect their student’s growing independence and treat them as young adults, it helps
build trust. This two-way communication creates space for both structure and freedom,
which makes everyone’s holiday more enjoyable.
2. Set Clear Expectations.
Before tensions have a chance to build, talk openly about house rules and boundaries.
This might include curfews, family expectations, or how shared spaces are used. A
calm, honest conversation early in the break can prevent misunderstandings later.
Setting expectations doesn’t mean laying down strict rules, it means making sure everyone’s
on the same page, so your student feels respected and the household runs smoothly.
3. Help your Student Set Goals.
Encourage them to update resumes, apply for summer internships or jobs, or get a head
start on academic work for the spring semester. You can also involve them in meaningful
projects around the house. Striking a balance between rest and responsibility helps
students return to campus refreshed and prepared.
4. Let them take the lead.
Be supportive and make sure they feel like they belong but don’t try to control their
every move when they are home. Try to be flexible and let them make decisions about
how to spend their break. As much as you may want to soak up time with your student,
remember that they’ve gotten used to managing their own schedules. Offer support and
create a welcoming space. This flexibility helps them feel respected and trusted,
strengthening your relationship without feeling controlling.
5. Discuss plans ahead of time, but don’t over plan.
Before your student comes home, share any family plans, like meals, outings, or holiday
traditions. This is a great way to prepare your student to know what to expect and
can plan accordingly. At the same time, keep the schedule light. Leave space for them
to rest, recharge, and spend time with friends. Flexibility makes the holiday feel
less like an obligation and more like a homecoming.